1. They live here. You don’t.
2. If you don’t want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture (that’s why it’s called ‘fur’-niture).

3. I like my pets a lot better than I like most people.
4. To you, it’s an animal. To me, he/she is an adopted son/daughter who is short; hairy or furry; walks on four legs; and doesn’t always speak clearly.
5. Cats and dogs are better than kids. They eat less, don’t ask for money all the time, are easier to train, usually come when called, never drive your car, don’t hang out with drug-using friends, don’t smoke or drink, don’t worry about having to buy the latest fashions, and don’t need a gazillion dollars for college. Best of all — if they get pregnant, you can sell the children!

Thanks to Ann Clulow.

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